Vulnerability

After one and a half years of being single, I'm finally dating someone on a regular basis. At this point in time, I could say that Gilbert is an awesome guy - he's fun to be with and he's great to talk to. He exudes a sweet, boy-next-door vibe with a streak of devilish naughtiness. I get that kilig feeling when he holds my hand and the time I discovered how much of a great kisser he is (Most Filipino guys I've had the chance of snogging are just so very bad - they tend to favor the sloppy wet kiss that I liken to your pet dog licking your entire face). I know I should be happy but somehow, I'm not.

He makes me feel vulnerable and I just hate feeling that way. He resembles my last ex, the one who broke my heart, to a certain degree. They sport the same haircut, they're the same age and they're from the same school. It's a good thing though that they don't know one another. Is this a mere coincidence or is it a conspiracy of the Powers that be?

How do you open up to someone without feeling vulnerable? I fear that I may be setting myself up for another heartbreak. It took me a long time to get over that asshole and I don't know what I'll do if it'll happen again. I try not to dwell on the negativity on my head because if I let my fear rule my life then I'll probably end up with a lot of shoulda, coulda, woulda's. That'll be even sadder.