Haywire

I was hanging around the lounge area in the office with two of my co-workers when we got to talking about having the blues for no apparent reason. The topic had hit a nerve within all three of us that what followed was a semi-serious discussion, more like a probe, about the possible causes.

"PMS?" Sol said

"Music (the guard downstairs was listening to one of 'em "bakya" stations that play sappy love songs one after the other)? Time of the day?" I said.

"Having nothing to do?" quipped Hannah

Whatever the causes are, it's never easy to snap out of that frame of mind wherein you're just so depressed at a flick of a finger. I'm thinking that I'm already acting this way, what more if I get pregnant and post-partum depression hits me? Would I do an Andrea Yates (An American convicted of murdering her 5 young children a couple of years back. Her lawyers claimed that she suffered temporary insanity when the killing of her offsprings were taking place. I think she's now locked up in a mental facility somewhere)?

The rational side of me's torturing myself for not knowing the stimuli. I'm having a hard time understanding why the hell can I not pinpoint the cause of my mood swings. Maybe it's the birth control pills I'm taking. But then again I've always had the artistic temperament. I'm just going around in circles that I should just stop babbling.