Of Marriage and Vices

Several days ago, I received text message from my old grade school classmate Gerald. We've been flirting with each other since late last year but nothing's really happened since our schedules just don't jibe. His one-liner of a message dropped a bombshell as it said 'P're, ikakasal na 'ko! (Dude, I'm getting married!)' Now that I look back on all our previous conversations, he always jokingly tell me that I should look for another job -- as his wife. I just laughed at him thinking that he must be on some kind of substance whether it be drugs or alcohol or both. I knew him as the happy-go-lucky guy who don't seem to be serious about anything. Apparently he is serious but only on the marriage front.

Memories of my first unofficial ex-boyfriend come flooding in. When I broke up with him, he was totally devastated and revealed to me his plans of proposing marriage to me as soon as I graduate from college (we were dating for about 13 months at that time). Me, married? He must've mistaken me for another person because I've always been very vocal about my decision, even vow if you could call it that, to not get married. Sure, I do dream of having a kid/s and being with someone in a long-term relationship but just not married.

I don't know what it is with me since I don't come from a broken family. My parents would be celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary by October of next year. My grandparents from both sides of the family celebrated their 50th wedding anniversaries in December 2003 and July 2004 respectively. I'm certainly not commitmentphobic. Marriage, as a concept, to me just seems very intangible. It's just a piece of paper and it started out as a way to forge alliances between kingdoms and consolidate the properties of the rich folks.

Most of all, what I don't get would be the way people react to my statement. They dismiss my opinion as naivete talking. They tell me that I'm still young but that I'd change my mind when I get a little older. They add that maybe I just haven't found "the one." If I could borrow a line from Madonna's song 'Papa Don't Preach' - I maybe young at heart but I know what I'm saying.

Now it seems very clear to me that I'm definitely a Carrie - the one who's not the marrying type. And just like Carrie, I can't seem to restrain myself from giving in to my shoe fetish. I just bought for myself my must-have shoe of the moment. It's the gold strappy sandal with rhinestone accents that Lizzie Jagger's modeled for the Mango catalogues. Barely a month ago, I was able to acquire Greyhound's white round toe cut-out pumps after lusting after them for the last year.