Relationship Blues

All three girls are in a relationship - Cathy and Thomas, Jewel and Robert, Kestrel and Miki (did I spell it right?) and I'm the only one who's still unattached. I'd be bullshit if tell anybody that I don't feel even an iota of envy. It's cool that they have significant others and I'm very much happy for them but I also can't help but think that I'm the odd one out.

Right now there's a lot of 'what if's' in my head. What if I never asked Gilbert that question? Would I be happier now if I had left our "relationship" as undefined? What if I stuck to the promise I made to myself to take it slow with the next guy I dated (namely, Gilbert)? What if I try to rekindle the flame with Richard? What if I hook up with JP (a guy I met a couple of weeks ago but is too shy to ask me out)? What'll happen with the blind date my co-worker Sol is setting up for me?

Being unattached is not bad at all since I have all the time in the world to do everything I please but somehow, you just can't not feel a little bit lonely when you see everyone around you is in coupeldom. I’m not one to pin my happiness on another person but I do have to admit that I miss the feeling of being somebody’s special somebody and of having things that only the two of you both share.

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Last Sunday, I was texting my friend Leah. She has about one month left before she leaves for the States and there’s this possibility that she might not be able to come back. Her parents are against her boyfriend because he has a child out of wedlock. She’s worried about her boyfriend Eric because he's always out of town for his business lately. If and when he's back in Manila, she feels that he’s not spending enough time with her even though they call or text each other everyday. They’ve been thinking about getting hitched for quite some time now.

She asks me for advice and this is what I tell her – “Bk nmn may imprtanteng rson sha kung bkit d sha nkkdlw (Maybe he has an important reason why he’s not able to visit you). I knw u’r lonely & u miss him a lot but do undrstnd tht whtever he’s doin s 4 d bth f u. He has a lot 2 prove 2 ur prents. It cld b also tht putting sm distnce btwn u is hs way f coping w/ ur departure. Jst b hnest 2 him bout hw u feel & never give up.”

She told me that if I’m the one who gives advice, it always makes sense. The question is if I give good advice, how come I’m never able to apply it to myself? Could it be because an outsider sees things from a different perspective compared to the those involved?