Dum dum da dum Dum dum da dum

I have no idea what happened or what was my mom’s state of mind just last Sunday morning that made her do what she did. I was sitting on the couch watching a tv show on the telly (I can’t remember what it was) together with my mom and my youngest sister Angelee. Louise was about to sit down on the empty space on the couch next to my mom when she blurted out THE question.

“Kayo ba ni Alex eh napapagusapan na ang pagpapakasal (Have you and Alex ever talk about getting married)?”

I was dumbfounded when I heard that. I was only sorry that I was not able to tilt my head in time to see the reaction that registered in my sister’s face.

“Oo (Yes).”

“Kailan naman (When would that be)?”

“Gusto ni Alex sa December (Alex would like to have it in December). Bakit (Why)? Payag ka (Do you approve)?”

“Wag lang sa December na ‘to (Not this December though).”

My mom, then, had a follow-up question – “Sigurada ka na ba talaga sa kanya (Are you really sure you want to marry him)? Baka naman may dumating pang iba (Maybe someone else might come along).”

And my sister then goes on to narrate how much Alex’s parents wants them to get married immediately, even promising to foot the entire bill if they do it a.s.a.p. For the longest time, they have been wanting to have a grandchild and they’re seriously betting on my sister. Even though Alex is their youngest child, the reason why he’s the strongest contender is that they perceive him to be the most ready for marriage among their three kids.

I’ve met Alex’s family and they’re an ok bunch. Actually, me, my sister Louise, our Uncle Lloyd and the three Lanip kids have a quirky history together. Uncle Lloyd, by the way, is my dad’s youngest brother. He’s a menopause baby and that makes our age gap no more than 8 years. Going on with my story… when he was in high school, he was classmates with Alex’s eldest sibling, Ate Girlie. When I was in grade school, I was classmates with Joel (used to be called by his given name Joselito back then), Alex’s older brother. My sister was classmates with Alex when they were in grade school, surprisingly enough.

After we finished our grade school years, we both transferred to St. Scho. Alex and Louise met because of her college best friend Abby who happens to be Ate Girlie, Joel and Alex’s cousin. It’s just weird how closely connected everybody is one time or another. It feels as if those two are really meant to be together.

Ate Girlie, the eldest, is still studying while her boyfriend Glen just graduated from college recently. They’ve been together even before my sister and Alex hooked up but they’re not yet financially ready. And then there’s Joel, the middle child. Hmm… what about Joel? Honestly, I have no idea. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him and I certainly haven’t heard any news on him of late.

My mom finally opened up about what prompted her to ask THE question. Auntie Anne, my dad’s sister-in-law, is about to give birth anytime soon and she jokingly told my mom that when her baby Anya no longer needs her crib, she’ll immediately pass it on to my sister.

It feels weird now that Louise’s matrimony card is out in the open. Was that just my mom’s way of saying that she’s resigned to the fact that my sister becoming Mrs. Alex Lanip an inevitable fact of our lives?

Okay, so one parent down; just one more to go. I wonder what my dad will say. Would his line of thinking be similar to my mom’s or would he still be hoping that my sister will find someone who’s…uhm… I’d hate to say it but it’s the truth… better looking?

After a brief pause for a nanosecond, my mom pulled a fast one on me.

“Ikaw ba Leslie wala pang boyfriend (How about you – do you now have a boyfriend)?”

A resounding “NO.”

My dating life right now is just too complicated, she probably won’t understand. She might even be confused with the people I’ve gone out with over the last two to three months – Alvin the Toastmaster, Jon the phone buddy (if you’re going to be strict about technicality then you can just disqualify him from this list), rocker Lei, always-in-a-rush Patrick, artsy Brian (yep, the latest one. He’s the bespectacled Art Director for the newspaper that my boss’ family owns) and then back again to Alvin the Toastmaster. Whew! I’m surprised that I myself was able to remember their chronological order after the dizzying musical chair of dating. Poor Mom, she might not be able to follow.

“Kapatid mo mag-aasawa na tapos ikaw wala pa (Your sister’s about to get married and yet you still don’t have anybody)?”

I just let out a silent sigh of commiseration, turned my back towards the sink and did my laundry (I wash all of my stuff that I perceive to be too delicate to be entrusted to our housekeeper). She’ll probably never understand. Is marriage the be all and end all of a person’s existence? I just don’t get it. There’s got to be more to life than be relegated to the role of ‘wife.’

For a moment, I also thought about the flipside – that of partnership. Sure, it feels good to have someone but to pin my perception of being happy, my self-worth and my entire existence on a single individual? I don’t think so.

I also thought about the ‘Why Are You Still Single’ quiz that Angel took a couple of days earlier. She asked me to explain to her the results that she got after she took that test because of the big words that peppered that short 1-paragraph assessment of the cause of my friend’s not-so-blessed single blessedness. Words like ‘settling’ and ‘having standards.’

Do I have a high standard? Could be but I don’t think it’s that high. (Sweetie, you might be reading this – tell me the truth, okay? Do I have an impossibly high standard?) I just want the best for me and isn’t that what everybody wants as well?

My lunch break is over, I’ll probably… er, most likely put up an entry that expounds on the last part of this post.